March 2005

Jokes

The Interview

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, Wow! Are you kidding? And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

Bad Interview

A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you." "Oh, great," the man said, "What is it?"

"It's called the door."

Late Again

The secretary came in late for work the third day in a row. The boss called her into his office and said, "Now look Helen, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here. Who told you you could come and go as you please?"

Helen simply smiled, let up a cigarette, and while exhaling said, "My lawyer."

The Computer User's Reboot Poem

Don't you wish when life is bad
and things just don't compute,
That all we really had to do
was stop and hit reboot

Things would all turn out okay,
life could be so sweet
If we had those special keys
Ctrl, Alt, and Delete

Your boss is mad, your bills aren't paid,
your spouse, well he's just mute;
Just stop and hit those wonderful keys
that makes it all reboot.

You'd like to have another job
but you fear living in the street?
You solve it all and start anew,
Ctrl, Alt, Delete.