January 2004
Jokes
Microsoft Engineer
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics
of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.
The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe
the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, “Why don’t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, that usually fixes the problem!?”
SOURCE: www.dailyhumor.net
Memories
An application was for employment,
A program was a TV show,
A cursor used profanity,
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age,
A CD was a bank account,
And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy,
You hoped nobody found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage,
Not something you did to a file,
And if you unzipped anything in public,
You’d be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire,
Hard drive was a long trip on the road,
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived,
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut - you did with a pocket knife,
Paste you did with glue,
A web was a spider’s home,
And a virus was the flu!
SOURCE: www.dailyhumor.net
The Cannibals
A big corporation recently hired several cannibals. “You are all part of our team now,” said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. “You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don’t eat any of the other employees.”
The cannibals promised they would not.
Four weeks later their boss remarked, “You’re all working very hard, and I’m satisfied with you. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?”
The cannibals shook their heads no. After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, “Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?”
A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, “You fool!!! For four weeks we’ve been eating Managers and no one noticed anything, but noooo, you had to go and eat someone important.”
Who Created the Chaos?
There was a doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist sitting around late one evening, and they got to discussing which was the oldest profession. The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the oldest profession in the world. The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible that stated that God created order from the chaos, and that was most certainly the biggest and best civil engineering example ever, and also proved that his profession was the oldest profession. The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, and with a sly smile responded, "Yes, but who do you think created the chaos?"
Hyper Text
Why do they call it hyper text?
Too much JAVA.